Letting Go!

I recently had a garage sale that was one of the hardest and emotional ones I've ever had.  I tend to buy a lot of things at great deals and keep a lot of stuff I don't need. However, these things that I was getting rid of at this garage sale really seemed to affect me very much. I cried many times through out the process of putting stuff into piles, emptying out my storage unit and even during the actual garage sale itself.

While going through and emptying my storage unit I was reminded of my move  to CA that I so bravely chose to do after 20 years of living in the same place. I went on my own, not knowing what to expect but expecting something new and better than the life I had been living in the town I loved and now miss very much. I left with three suitcases and got on a train from Chicago to Los Angles. Over those two and a half days I did a lot of thinking, met a lot of interesting people and decided this was a new beginning. In the storage unit I had boxes full of memories, and that is just what they were, MEMORIES. Why did I need this stuff, what was I going to do with it? I needed this stuff to remind me of growing up, of good times and good friends. I needed it to hang on to what I lost, what I had left behind and somehow I felt safe knowing I still had it. But, it was finally time to let a lot of it go. I say a lot, and not ALL. Some of it I just couldn't let go, not this time at least!

Then it was time to empty out not just one but two closets and dressers full of clothes at my parents house. My parents house, whom I no longer live with! Oy vay! Why, do I have so many clothes? And so many with tags still on them! Now this stage of getting rid of stuff was very, very emotional. These clothes were not just material or some expensive name brand I had to have. No, these were clothes I used to fit into, clothes that a 20 something female shouldn't fit into. Girl's size 10, and they were often loose on me. So this stage was possibly finally letting go of my over 10 years of being anorexic. This was invigorating, extremely difficult, and eye opening all at the same time. I couldn't believe how much of my time and life I wasted wasting away myself in this horrible disease. I lost loves, friends and betrayed family as well as myself. Anorexia stole so much of my teenage years as well as my young adulthood. Why wouldn't I want to get rid of everything that still somehow tied me to it? That is why it was so hard, I didn't know. I missed it in a little way. I felt in control, when I was really so very out of control. I felt that letting go of these clothes would truly push me and keep me going in the right steps that I have worked so hard to reach and overcome this horrible disease. So the piles started getting bigger and the closet was getting emptier and emptier.

One Closet and over 100 pieces of clothing!

More clothes and misc. junk!

AND...

More clothes and SHOES!

All together I gathered and GOT RID OF over 350 pieces of clothing and 27 pairs of shoes!

I cried once as I got ready for the morning and people were pulling up by the car loads at 5:45 am! And once more when a lady wanted five different items WITH TAGS still on them for 50 cents a piece! I don't think so lady! As tears streamed down my face and I excused myself inside for a moment to calm down. As I came back out, and older gentleman patted me on the back and was like, "I know, garage sales are hard. I've had to sell everything I owned before." I liked that gentleman very much and I thanked him for understanding with tears in my eyes.

After a few hours of wheeling and dealing and saying goodbye to so many things that at one time filled some void and made me happy, I made over $700 and felt a huge burden lifted off of my shoulders!

Before:

Here is the empty garage with only a few left over items sent away the next day to Goodwill.

I was very proud of myself that day!

Here we go...

So, I've been wanting to start a blog for over a year now and I am finally getting to it now. It took me a few days to come up with a name I felt was right for me and for what the blog will be about. "Jessica's babbling, deals, & love" is going to be all about my love for talking, finding deals, and of course sharing my heart and love with the world.

It's been an amazing year since I have wanted to start this blog. I got engaged to a wonderful man on January 13th, 2010. Roddy proposed to me in Jamaica at a private dinner on the beach for just the two of us. While this engagement had been planned for a few months by Roddy, mother nature had a few plans of her own. It rained everyday, which was a major bummer and much different than the first time we had been to Jamaica 4 months before! but, that night Roddy proposed, made the whole trip the most wonderful and meaningful night. I cried, I laughed and we kissed...a lot!

A few months later we decided to start our new family and get... a puppy! We did a lot of research on the type of dog that we wanted and decided on a Vizlsa. When we made our decision we wanted to make sure that we found a reputable breeder and we found  Vistercil's Vizslas. We were so excited to find out that a liter was going to be born in march and we could bring our new little puppy home the first week of May! Then a rush of "are we ready for a puppy?" came and then some nerves and then "yay! we are going to have a puppy!" 

with Roddy's love for Macs and in honor of my Grandpa (his last name was McLaren) we decided that Mac would be a very suitable name for our new little guy.

Mac just celebrated his first birthday and I can't believe he is already a year old. He has brought a lot of joy and love to our house. 

Well, this is just a start to the many posts I will make. I hope that you enjoy the things I have to share, the   babbling, the awesome deals I find, and a whole lot of things I love in this world!